Second Wedding Ideas
Guide to Second Weddings, Second Marriages and Vow Renewals
Friday November 21, 2008

Vow Renewal - Renewing Wedding Vows - Sample Vows

renewing wedding vows

The Why, Where, When to Renew Wedding Vows Guide

by Rev. Susanna Stefanachi Macomb, interfaith minister, author of Joining Hands and Hearts - Intercultural Wedding Celebrations: A Practical Guide for Couples.

A renewal of wedding vows ceremony can be a meaningful, touching, revivifying ceremony for you and your children, family and friends. As a married couple, it is a time to pause and reflect on where you have been and where you are going.  It is also a wonderful example to set for your children and grandchildren.  Can you imagine a more beautiful scene than children watching their parents joining hands and hearts as they affirm the magnitude and strength of their enduring love? What greater life/love lesson? I often say at these ceremonies: “True love does not wither or die.  It merely ripens. ” Afterwards many couples comment as to how surprisingly romantic it all felt!

Vow renewal ceremonies can be as creative and personal as you want them to be.  Walk down the aisle to classical music and walk out to “your song”.  Let the cover of your invitation feature your grandchild’s favorite drawing of Grandma and Pop Pop or even your first wedding portrait. Play your original wedding video at your reception.  Buy new wedding bands for the occasion and have them specially engraved.  Your ceremony should be less formal than a wedding - more casual and fun. It can completely reflect the two of you.

Significant anniversaries are especially appropriate times for renewing your commitment and love. I have conducted vow renewals for couples married as little as 10 years and as much as 50 years.

Some couples choose to renew their vows after a particularly difficult crisis in their lives, say for example, the overcoming of a serious illness or a period of estrangement.  They want to make it new again!  Others simply want to reaffirm the tremendous love that has matured and deepened with the passing of years.  

Vow renewals are usually conducted by clergy since they are generally more spiritual and not official in nature.  However, if you have a warm hearted friend who is a judge or a ship’s captain---that could work nicely as well.  Unlike weddings, no legal paperwork is needed for a vow renewal. The ceremony can be conducted in churches, chapels, temples, banquet facilities, on yachts, out of doors or in the privacy of a couple’s home - with a room full of guests or in an intimate setting with just the couple. Consider reaffirming your vows in some far off, exotic destination! The couples themselves host the celebration because it is so very personal. It is a decision that only you as a couple can make.  There are no shot gun vow renewals!

A couple can end their vows with a poem, for example, this verse by James Weldon Johnson:

"The world, for me, and all the world can hold is circled in your arms,
for me there lies within the lights and shadows of your eyes the only beauty that is never old."

Vow Renewal Sample Vows :

A minister may state the following "Declaration of Intent" before the couple takes the standard wedding vows:

"When you first joined hands and hearts 40 years ago, you did not know where life would take you. You promised to love, honor and cherish one another through all things. Life has surely brought you both wonderful blessings and difficult tribulations. Therefore, you have fulfilled your promise. And God is smiling! So, as you come here today to reaffirm your wedding vows and as you reflect back over all the years as husband and wife, do you now reaffirm the vows you took 40 years ago? If so, repeat after me. (Insert personal vows)

 

     
   
 
wedding vows tool kit
 
   
 

 

 
 

renewing vows

 
 
   
 
 
Dresses for Vow Renewals
view dresses appropriate for vow renewals
 
 
 
 
     
     
   
 

speeches and toasts for vow renewals
 
   
 
 

Joining Hands and Hearts: Interfaith, Intercultural Wedding Celebrations

 
   
 
interfaith wedding celebrations
 
   
 
 
 
 

Wording your vow renewal invitation - Click here for more ideas!

Wedding Vow Renewal Etiquette - Ooops! Don't make a social Faux Paus!

 

The following examples adapted from Diane Warner's Complete Book of Wedding Vows. A couple may say these words to one another just before they take the vows of their choice.

"You are mine, my love, and I am yours, as ordained by God from the beginning of time. God brought us together, kept us together.
You are God's gift to me, my priceless treasure, my blessing for life. May God bless us as we come together before our family and friends to renew our pledge of love to one another, eternal."

Writing your own vows would be most appropriate as well. Try the following to help you with the writing of your personalized wedding vows:

  Go through a book of wedding vows and jot down all the words and phrases you like on a piece of paper.

Answer these questions:

  marriage How do I love my wife/husband? How has our love grown over the years?
  How has my husband/wife made me a better person?
  For what am I most grateful to my wife/husband? What is my pledge to him/her for the future?

Equipped with the research and their answers, a couple is often better able to express what is in their heart. Remember that love brings even the most reticent tongue to verse! Some of the most beautiful vows I have heard come from those who have never written before. Also, in answering these questions, you are creating a precious document. How often do we take the time to complete such an exercise? You will cherish these words for the rest of your lives---and perhaps can even pass it along to your children one day.

   
WEDDING VOW RENEWAL TIPS
 
 
Wedding Etiquette

Involve the children with a Unity Candle Ceremony

 
 
Wedding Etiquette
It is customary for the husband to escort his wife down the aisle.  
 
Wedding Etiquette
Recreate your original bouquet and/or wedding cake.  
 
Wedding Etiquette
Return to your original honeymoon destination, staying at the same hotel if possible.  
 
Wedding Etiquette
Display your first wedding photograph.  
 
Wedding Etiquette
Display photographs of your first wedding specially framed on reception tables and allow guests to take them home as favors.  
 
Wedding Etiquette
Read more about wedding vow renewal etiquette  

Wedding Vow Renewal Sample Vows

“Once before, I have stood with you before family and friends; once again, I take your hand as my partner. (Name), I take you this day, and for all days, as my (husband/wife)."

“I am proud to marry you on this day. I promise to wipe away your tears with my laughter and your pain with my caring and compassion. We will wipe clean the old canvases of our lives and let God, with His amazing artistic talent, fill them with new colors, harmony and beauty. I give myself to you completely, and I promise to love you always, from this day forth."

“I believe in this marriage more strongly than ever. (Name), it is with joy born of experience and trust that I commit myself once again to be your (husband/wife)."

"I, (name), give to you, (name), a new promise, and yet not so new; a new (husband/wife), and yet not so new; and a new affirmation of love from the heart that has loved you for (__) years and will love you for as many more as God allows."

Know that there are sections for vow renewals in most wedding books. Your readings can be tailored to a more mature love. The Anniversary Song by Naomi Long Madgett is popular with couples and is often read along side a biblical verse. And. speaking of music, following are suggestions for songs to play during the ceremony or at the party to follow:

Songs for Wedding Vow Renewal - Anniversary Songs

  • You Decorated My Life - Kenny Rogers
  • Remember When - Alan Jackson
  • Through the Years - Kenny Rogers
  • The Anniversary Walz - Eddie Howard
  • The Anniversaty Song - Al Jolson and Saul Chaplin
  • Look at Us - Vince Gill
  • Because You Loved Me - Celine Dion
  • As Time Goes By - Jimmy Durante
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